It can be challenging to deal with the loss of a soulmate. But there are some ways in which you can ease the sorrow and grief that you are feeling. Here we take a look at some of them:
People who are grieving the death of a loved one suffer often wonder whether their grief is normal. Grief is a normal response after the death of a family member or close friend and healing too, is a part of that process.
There is no universal rule when it comes to healing. Different people face grief differently. Some become very emotional while others are unable to control their tears. Therefore, it is difficult to categorize grief as normal or otherwise.
People have different personalities, different emotional quotients and face different situations of death. The combinations of these factors differ and so too the manifestations of grief among individuals.
Every year Diane & Scott conduct a beautiful Christmas Memorial for families who have lost a loved one in the past year. This year the memorial will be held on 12/13/18, call our office for more information.
Below are a couple photos from the 2017 memorial.
There isn’t any one particular way in which grief manifests itself and many people experience it in different ways. The simple fact is that grief and sorrow are something that are very difficult to understand until you are compelled to live with it. But many people do become stressed when dealing with the death of a loved one, not many are aware that grief can also manifest itself in the form of physical symptoms. It takes them quite some time to realize, that the physical problems they’re facing are correlated to the loss they’ve experienced.
Different Physical Symptoms Of Grief
Since every person is different, the grief they experience and the manner in which it surfaces as physical symptoms is different as well. However some of the common symptoms include:
- Aches and pains
- Shortness of breath
- Tightness in the chest
- Inability to focus
- Digestive issues
- Appetite changes
- Getting sick more often
Anniversaries are important milestones in a person’s life. For example, a marriage anniversary is a special day to celebrate a lifelong commitment. Such events ensure you don’t take life for granted and cherish every year.
These celebrations can turn into sorrow after the death of a loved one. They become stark reminders of what you have lost. At Elite Funeral Directors, we have found that there are three simple things you can do to make anniversaries a little easier.
1. Take a break
Anniversaries can be painful if you’re in familiar surroundings so taking a break is a great way to get away from it for a while. Travel to a different destination with friends or take a road trip. The new experiences and curiosity will overshadow the grief and help you get through the day.
2. Celebrate it differently
Having been left with your loved one’s personal effects after they pass, this can now often include their social media or email accounts and in an age of technology it can be difficult to know where to start, particularly with the younger generations.
However, it is important not to ignore them as they reach a wide network of your loved one’s friends and connections so it not only makes it easier for you to spread the news but also to ensure that the emails and social media aren’t being contacted.
Check the Terms of Service
The first thing you should do is check the terms of service of each platform to find out about your options. Facebook and Instagram, for example, will allow you to memorialize an account with proof of death which could be a way of honouring your loved one. Most platforms will need to see proof of death in order to deactivate or close the account on behalf of someone else so be prepared to make copies to email over.
Make sure you aren’t breaking federal law in your country by logging into your loved one’s account and posting on their behalf but normally this is considered okay as you let others know about service arrangements and details.
As we enter the holiday season, many who have lost a loved one will experience grief. If the loss was recent, the grief may be overwhelming. But even if the loss was years ago, the holiday season often resurfaces an element of grief as we remember holidays past.
Around 30 years ago, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described something called the “5 Stages of Grief” in her book “On Death and Dying.” Since then, people have started to use this guideline to understand how individuals go through the grieving process.
Denial is the first instinctive response to any kind of bad news. People immediately want to reject it and for the brief moment, they believe that rejecting the idea of loss will undo that loss. This is a part of the healthy coping mechanism but it shouldn’t last too long.
After denial comes anger. People believe their loss is unfair and the entire world should be mourning with them. They become frustrated with friends, family, and even strangers. This is also a healthy and instinctive response. Anger can last for a long time, especially if the circumstances of the loss are abrupt and traumatic.
It can be awkward….the first time you see a friend or acquaintance after the funeral.
Maybe they attended the funeral and expressed their condolences or maybe they couldn’t attend and sent you a card. Either way, the first time you meet again it can be very awkward. They don’t know what to say and you are dealing with the emotional roller coaster called grief.
On Diane Luccitti’s bookshelf is a very useful book entitled Life After Loss by Bob Dietz. One of the many useful parts of the book is a letter that you can personalize and send out to friends either as a letter or an email. Many people find that this simple act helps to relieve some of the awkwardness and makes a difficult time a little bit better.
Everyone grieves differently and there’s no right or wrong way to do so. As funeral directors in Sydney, Diane & Scott are very familiar with this. There’s one major aspect of grief that’s quite interesting that they’ve found true for most of our clients. That is the difference between men and women grieving. It’s likely something you’re not too surprised to hear but it’s the difficulty men have at times that can be a cause for concern.
Honestly, I think they’d be much happier if they would let me curl up in their lap but all too often I get “the look” so I find another lap to visit.
Time to Mourn
One of the most common things you’ll hear upon losing a loved one is that it will all get better with time. The problem with this for men can be that in the meantime they try to keep busy so that the time when things are better happens sooner. Unfortunately, when they’re not allowing themselves time to think about the passing, the healing isn’t able to begin.