It can be awkward….the first time you see a friend or acquaintance after the funeral.
Maybe they attended the funeral and expressed their condolences or maybe they couldn’t attend and sent you a card. Either way, the first time you meet again it can be very awkward. They don’t know what to say and you are dealing with the emotional roller coaster called grief.
On Diane Luccitti’s bookshelf is a very useful book entitled Life After Loss by Bob Dietz. One of the many useful parts of the book is a letter that you can personalize and send out to friends either as a letter or an email. Many people find that this simple act helps to relieve some of the awkwardness and makes a difficult time a little bit better.
Everyone grieves differently and there’s no right or wrong way to do so. As funeral directors in Sydney, Diane & Scott are very familiar with this. There’s one major aspect of grief that’s quite interesting that they’ve found true for most of our clients. That is the difference between men and women grieving. It’s likely something you’re not too surprised to hear but it’s the difficulty men have at times that can be a cause for concern.
Honestly, I think they’d be much happier if they would let me curl up in their lap but all too often I get “the look” so I find another lap to visit.
Time to Mourn
One of the most common things you’ll hear upon losing a loved one is that it will all get better with time. The problem with this for men can be that in the meantime they try to keep busy so that the time when things are better happens sooner. Unfortunately, when they’re not allowing themselves time to think about the passing, the healing isn’t able to begin.
Another reason the healing can be delayed and time for mourning lessened is that men often Keep Reading
You may not realize it because I’m a cat but I know all about Anzac Day that’s coming up. The funeral directors in Sydney that allow me to call this place home, have been talking about it. It’s very close to our hearts because we’re constantly surrounded by people losing their loved ones. I feel pretty proud of myself for being a cat and knowing all about it so I have to share just in case you don’t know.
History of Anzac Day
The day is meant for remembering all those Australians and New Zealanders who served in the war and suffered or died as a result of their time in the war. The day specifically chosen to mark the landing at Gallipoli in 1915. This was one of the major events during World War One that killed thousands of Australians and New Zealanders. Compared to the population at the time it was a significant amount of lives lost and a tragedy for both countries.
There are many different ways to take part in Anzac Day and one of those is attending one of the services held at dawn. This service is held at dawn to mark the start of another Anzac Day and signifies the first part of the memorial events. The main dawn service in Sydney is held at the Cenotaph at Martin Place which I’m told is right downtown. Keep Reading
It’s time for a change in seasons with summer coming to an end and autumn beginning. As many of you may know it’s too hot in the summer for a cat like me so I’m very happy about the start of autumn. The weather is so much more mild, with a decrease in humidity and temperatures it makes spending time outside much more enjoyable.
There are many autumn activities I’ve found people talking about at our funeral home in Sydney. One of them is taking a walk. I’ve heard this talked about many times and it can be very soothing and help give you some peace when processing the loss of a loved one. The weather can be crisp which helps you feel refreshed and brings about a sense of new life to your current mood.
Something else you can try is the Moonlight Cinema. It’s a great way to get out of the house and be around people but you don’t have to interact much. During the grieving process, it can feel very lonely and you just want to be around people without necessarily having to talk much. It’s basically an outdoor movie theatre so you enjoy the benefit of fresh air and other people, while watching a movie and having an escape from life for a couple hours.
If you want to take me along with you on these adventures I think they would be very interesting and I would be happy to keep you company. As much as I want to help you by suggesting these types of activities I know there’s other ways you need help too.
During my time as resident cat in our funeral home in Sydney I’ve learned about some other great support systems if you’re looking for something more. One of the most difficult times grieving occurs is when a child dies, when you need help specific to this areaThe Compassionate Friends is an excellent support centre. The leaders are all others who have suffered the loss of a child, grandchild, or sibling making them others who can truly understand what you’re going through.
If you’re looking for support that will help you with the loss of a partner there’s a great non-profit calledSolace Australia. You will find support groups with others that can relate to how you’re feeling and talk in a non-threatening environment. There are trained support workers available to help as well as telephone support if needed.
Between these wonderful resources and many more out there along with the change in weather I hope you’ve found something to help. I know cuddling up with me in the office can only go so far to help you. I want to share information I’ve learned while listening in on conversations.
Do you have a bucket list? I’ve heard people talking to our funeral directors in Sydney about their bucket list and got curious about it. I know I’m a cat but I don’t think that means I shouldn’t get to create one!
Have you ever wondered where the idea of a bucket list comes from? I tried to figure it out and it seems like there’s more than one idea about it. All of them come from the expression “kick the bucket” meaning when someone has passed away.
Let’s get into the interesting stuff which of course is talking about what’s on my bucket list! It’s important to create a bucket list and if you see that a little old cat could create a bucket list then hopefully it will inspire you to create one too!
We have some pretty exciting places around Sydney that I’d love to visit. I know I talked about travelling awhile ago but I really feel like I need to talk about some of these places again. One of the places I must visit is the Sydney Opera House. I don’t just want to see the beautiful outside of it, I want to go and actually see an Opera! I’m so small I could just curl up under someone’s seat and they wouldn’t even know I was there. Unless they would let me sit on someone’s lap that would really be just perfect.
Another place I have to visit is Bondi Beach. I’ve seen it on television and it looks so nice. It would be pretty fun for someone to take me out on their surfboard, although I wouldn’t want to get wet. I’m not sure if it’s possible not to get wet though so I think I’ll just watch from the shore.
The last thing I’d love to do is see a beautiful view of the city. The best way to do this is of course viewing it from the Sydney Tower. I know it will be scary to get up there and look down at everything from so high but it will be worth it. I may need someone to hold onto me so I don’t think I’ll want to sneak in there alone but as long as someone takes me it will be fine!
As great as all of these places are to visit I know if you’re not a cat there’s probably a lot more exciting things you’d like to do in your life. It’s important to take the time to think about it and always have those ideas in your mind.
I see so many people come in and talk to our funeral directors in Sydney and they’re so sad. Someone who they love very much is gone and they didn’t have a chance to do all the things they wanted to in life. Take the time now while you still can to create your own bucket list and start trying to get some of those things accomplished.
Have you ever heard of funeral cookies? I didn’t know much about them even being the cat of funeral directors in Sydney. But, maybe that’s because I’m a cat and I really don’t get told everything. So, now that I’ve heard about them I think they’re a very interesting concept and just have to share.
They were primarily used during colonial times and served a number of different purposes. First and foremost they provided a way to remember the person who had passed. Not only this but during these difficult times they were also a source of nourishment and comfort.
The types of cookies that were used varied throughout different areas. You would find some that were like a sponge cake, others that were a dark chocolate batter, and some that were traditional molasses cookies. Something unique about these cookies was that they often were made with images that symbolized death such as skulls and winged cherubs.
It’s not all about the cookie itself though, they were wrapped in a very special wrapping. What I really liked is that they had poetry, bible verses, and even the death notice printed on them. I’ve seen a lot around here with our funeral directors in Sydney but nothing quite as unique as these cookies.
There’s one last part about them I want to mention and that’s the fact that they were used as a method of delivering a death notice to people who were being invited to the funeral. They did also give them out those who attended the funeral while they were walking from the church to the burial site.
Now that you know a little bit about them, what do you think? I know my opinion as a cat may not mean much but I think my funeral directors in Sydney should start doing this!
Maybe I’m a little old fashioned. It just seems like such a nice way to remember those who were lost. I’ve seen many different ways of doing things while I laze around the office here and there’s nothing close to the funeral cookies.
They don’t just put a normal old wrapper for the cookie they use it to remember the loved one, it’s just so creative. We have lots of bakers around here I’m sure we could find a great one in Sydney to help us out with that!
I don’t know if they will listen to me on this idea though. All I know is that I’ve done my part in telling you about them and what a great idea I think they are. Who knows, maybe someone will decide to try them out and I will get to see it. If you do decide to try them out I’m sure you could chat with my funeral directors about it and they could help you arrange it.
Hello and Happy New Year! I didn’t want you to think I forgot to write about this but, my last post about Carrie Fisher was more important to make sure people knew how much she meant to the world!
I hope you’re all ready for the upcoming year ahead. Did you see ourFacebook post about it? In case you missed it here’s what it said, “2017 is the year that I ______________”.
You may think I’m just a cat but, after I saw that post I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Here are my three answers to that exciting question!
As much as I love helping people who come through the doors of our Sydney funeral home, I want to get out and travel the world! Well, maybe not the world but definitely see more of Sydney.
There are so many fun things I hear people talk about or see on TV and I never get to go see them. People think I’m just a cat and don’t seem to realize I want to do things too! This year things are going to be different. I’m going to find a way to see new sights in Sydney!
Obviously, my first stop will be the Sydney Opera House because it’s all people ever talk about. I’m sure it’s amazing like they say but I want to see for myself! I’d also really like to see the Sydney Harbour Bridge and you may think I’m a bit crazy but us cats aren’t afraid of heights so I’d like to do the bridge climb too!
After that I think a nice trip to the Taronga Zoo would be nice. I get to see lots of other animals without having them get too close to me and I get to make them jealous because I’m out sightseeing!
As a cat I think it’s very important that you have the proper place for your pet to go after they pass. I wouldn’t ever want my ashes to be put in something that isn’t fabulous and your pet shouldn’t be any different.
It’s about time that I start my own line of urns for your beloved pets. Who would be better than a fellow pet to decide what’s best for them!
If you don’t want to wait until my line of urns launches, I understand. We do have some you can get now, my favourites are theAdore Midnight or theLove Heart Midnight.
Meeting New Families
I love when new families come and visit our Sydney funeral home. Even though they aren’t in a good place I enjoy being able to help them feel better.
This year I want to curl up in 300 new laps. That means at least 300 different families will come through this funeral home. I’d rather people not have to go through an awful and sad time but if they do, I’d like to be there to help.
I see the pain lessen for a moment as I curl up in their lap and provide some comfort. The more people I can do that for the better.
Now that you know all of this cat’s big plans for 2017, I’d love for you to share yours with me!
There have been a lot of people coming through our Sydney funeral home that mention the passing of the well-known actress Carrie Fisher. After hearing all this talk about her and having a love for her myself, I had to write something to remember the legacy.
I may be a cat but I know just how well known she is for her role in Star Wars as Princess Leia and I too think she was stunning. I just loved curling up with my humans and watching that movie, while they thought I was sleeping.
One of the best parts of Star Wars was when Han Solo and Luke Skywalker dressed up as Storm Troopers to rescue Princess Leia from the Rebel Alliance. All of the action with the ray gun and blaster shooting was a little bit scary but mostly exciting! The whole time you were in suspense, wondering if she was in fact going to be rescued. I was so happy when they saved her and she was safe again.
I’ve watched all of the movies in the series and just loved when she reunited with Han Solo in the newest movie, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens. It was like a bittersweet last goodbye to her being known as Princess Leia. It’s so special that after so many years she was able to take part in one last Star Wars movie before she passed.
I know I’ve talked a lot about her in Star Wars, mainly because it’s what I’ve been hearing about around our funeral home. I’m not a dumb cat though, I know she was in a lot more movies than that franchise, and I’ve seen some of them too!
A couple of those other movies that I really enjoyed were When Harry Met Sally and The Blues Brothers. They are definitely classics and if you haven’t seen them you need to add them to your list of movies to watch!
While she may be gone, we will always remember her much like we do with all of our families here at our funeral home in Sydney. Your loved one is just as important as Carrie Fisher and we want you to have the best possible care when making arrangements.
You are always welcome to visit me to talk about Carrie Fisher or I can give you comfort with the passing of your own loved one. I will listen and make you feel better, I promise.
Don’t you just love Christmas? I know I sure do. All the shiny things that come out for me to play with are truly incredible. Apparently, they’re called Christmas decorations, but I’m pretty sure they just bring them out once a year because I’ve been really good.
All of those ornaments on something they call a Christmas tree are the most fun of all. They’re just hanging there, calling my name. I mean really, how can they just hang them and not expect that I’d want to play with them a little.
There’s so many things that turn me into a little kitten again. Those twinkling lights and tinsel on the tree look like fun to play with. And then there are presents with ribbons and bows on them.
The part about all of it that makes me sad is that I get in trouble if I play with any of it. So, I try to act like a good kitty and use my imagination instead.
As much fun as Christmas can be, I know how strong the memories of loved ones are at this time of year. Being part of a funeral home in Sydney I’ve seen so many people come in around Christmas and it’s especially difficult for them.
We don’t ever want to feel like you have to grieve alone so we offer a special evening for you to remember your loved one.
At our event, you will enjoy a delicious supper that will be complimented by lovely music to help liven the mood and lift your spirits. There will also be a special candle-lighting ceremony in memory of your loved one.
Another special part of the evening is that you will receive a Christmas ball with your loved one’s name inscribed on it. It’s our gift to you that we welcome you to take home and add to your tree.
If the idea sounds good but you aren’t sure about talking to people or feel like you may get upset, that’s okay. I will keep you company and you can give me some affection to make yourself and me feel good.
I know, spending time at a funeral home in Sydney with a cat may not seem like the most exciting plan, but sometimes you just need somewhere you can feel understood. We truly understand how much of a struggle Christmas can be and want to be there to provide support.
During my time as the resident cat I’ve learned that Christmas isn’t only about fun and ornaments, it’s about family and spending time with your loved ones. So, come and visit me and I will cozy up to you and make sure you aren’t lonely.
Can you believe this heat we’ve been having? I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of it. I can’t do anything fun because it’s way too hot to move around much.
You’ll find me sleeping most of the time and often on the cool floor. That’s right, the heat makes me feel like I’ve been banished away from everyone, stuck laying on the floor! I’m the most important part of Elite, I should be treated like royalty with someone fanning me all day.
Another thing about summer time is that us cat’s shed and get a much thinner coat. That’s another reason why I can’t stand it…it makes me lose my precious fur! So instead of being a beautiful fluffy kitty that everyone wants to touch, I’m almost bald. Well, maybe not but it sure feels like it.
Speaking of fur, I’ve been eating a whole lot of it. The grooming necessary around this time of year is off the charts. I’m constantly licking myself to try and keep cool. It does work a bit, but getting so many hairballs really isn’t fun after awhile.
The hairballs wouldn’t be so bad if I at least had some mice to chase but that’s not happening either. Not only are they hiding out, but it’s just too much work to try and run around after them in the blazing hot sun. The sun is just so bright…I’ve got to squint my eyes whenever I’m near it, how annoying!
Can you tell I’m ready for it to cool down anytime soon?
If you need a break from the heat like me, you could always come visit and browse our urns or cremation jewellery. I’ll gladly sit by your side and comfort you during the process. I’m really very sweet, I just don’t like the heat, but I promise I won’t complain to you about it while you’re here.
While we have to order most of them in, you don’t need to feel like you have to do it alone. I’d love to keep you company during this difficult process and you may have questions about the products for us.
If you like the heat that’s okay, I will still show you love. You probably go swimming to cool off, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to enjoy swimming. For now, I’ll suffer through a few more months until it’s back to the cooler temperatures I enjoy!